10 Jokes You Must Read About Lawyers

A lawyer is with his son at his cattle ranch.
The child asks the lawyer:
"Dad, Dad, all I see around me is won?"
"No son, is stolen!"

What is the difference between a lawyer and a crow?
That one is a predator, lives on carrion, garbage and gossiping. Stalks his victims and when neglected, attacks. First they eat the eyes and then finished blasting.
The other is an innocent black bird.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute ...
that you  have to pay  the two first and then tell them to move.

Cat method to determine the kind of lawyer who negotiates:
Put a cat on your desktop, if the cat runs away, that attorney is a dog. However, if the cat pounces on the lawyer, is because it is a rat.

A 747 full of lawyers was kidnapped and the threat that was heard was:
To comply with my demands or I will free two each time.

Why do postal stamps dont have images of lawyers?
Because people do not know which side of the seal they must spit.

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? ... His lips are moving.

In a trial the prosecutor said:
- "Look to the accused" he look to his eyes, his forehead, his eyes sunken, his sinister ... "
And the defendant interrupted him saying:
- "Excuse me, am I going to be judge for a murderer or for being ugly?"

In an aircraft the engine broke down was in full flight, so the pilot ordered the crew and to the passengers to buckle up and prepare for an emergency landing.
He waited a few minutes and asked a stewardess if they were all ready. This said,
- Yes, all but all lawyers are handing out their cards.

What is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? ... the vampire sucks your blood only at night.